What's the next step?

Dear Diary,

In whatever I do, I can never seems to win him. I can't seems to be complacent. No matter how much efforts I placed in. No matter how determine I am.


He had a head start. He had all the support. He always seems to be the only one getting all the opportunities.

I had nothing. And its kills me not being able to get what I want.


Am I really that transparent? Jealously kills. Jealously shouldn't exist in the dictionary of "best friend". I just want to be recognize... For once.


I sucks.

Teach me what to do next... I lost all my willingness to fight. I lost my ambition again....


I feel like breaking down. I suddenly miss everything in the past. But no one can see that. Absolutely no one.


I hate that thrist.

Maybe a long hug would do me nice.


xoxo,
Dillon